Total Pageviews

Monday, September 19, 2011


Well yesterday was the day I had open heart surgery for the first time in my life. I was only 6 years old and I didnt know to many detail of what was happing. I know my favorite cardio dr came in and told me we were going to play ghost busters and momma had to stay here it was a game just for me. I actually walked into what I now know was the OR room and it was cold and white and my dr said I had to lay on the table and put a mask on to play ghost busters. That is all I can remember, I woke up in my momma's arms and I can remember saying I didnt play ghost busters I just put a mask on. I was just a kid then and thinking back was so funny to me now.

I do not remember to much about my hospital stay that trip I was always in the hospital when I was little but I do know that when I went home I could not attend school for at least a month or so I was home schooled. My class made all kinds of nice pictures for me. My teacher made me a really big poster with all my classmates handprints and their names, I still have all the things that was given to me durning my surgery recovery time. I have the teddy bears and a flower pot cat the old deflated balloons and cards my mickey mouse books.

It was hard growing up with CHD when I was little I did not know it was CHD i just knew I felt and looked different and kids were always so cruel to me calling me names. The only friends I had was teachers until High School I started meeting a few friends thanks to Band and ROTC.

I graduated High School when no one said I would I did it to prove doctor's wrong, I then went to college and graduated college when they said I would even be able to go to college.

I am proud of my CHD it has made me who I am today and I here to tell my story and help anyone else with CHD the best I can.

In honor of my CHD I am getting a CHD tattoo this week I am so excited to be honest not a tattoo person but I want something on me that represents who I am and what I stand for, and so people will say hey whats that and I can say CHD and tell them all about it.

I was about 7mths or so 

This was right before my OHS (you can see how pale I looked even with the make up dress up)

This was taken this year when the local newspaper ran my CHD story in the paper 

Thursday, September 15, 2011

Whatever hurts you wont kill you its all but a dream in the end

I am truly sorry for the very long waited blog it has been a long time and I know that I need to at least update once a week.

So I will do HEART news first I am not sure if you guys know this but I finally got It's My Heart-Shreveport chapter going however I have not had the first meeting way to much stuff has been happing it is like I get up and start to work on IMH and Bam something happens. But that is the way things work I suppose you take the good with the bad it's just a part of life.  Hopefully I can sit down clear my mind and start to work on the first meeting this is something I really wanted but it seems it has just been a rough time here for me and my family.

My Knee I am still fighting with I have been going to PT for a while now, my knee is still extremly tender and sore on the inside of the knee I go back to ortho appt early oct.

Now onto personnal things first the past two weeks has been the weeks from Hell and there is no better way to put that. First we had a fire accident that was literally way to close to home. what had happend was our neighbors tree fell knocked down our utility pole split it in half and when the pole hit the ground cause a spark and the yard caught on fire. We are blessed that our house did not catch fire and that it did not go past the dog gate side. We were out of power for an entire week but everything is back on again and running the way it should be.

More personal battles with me something much deeper then I thought I would even discuss on this blog but I said to myself hey why not maybe even get some feedback on everything.
So most of yall know I had a great boyfriend and about two weeks ago we called it quits it all started over mis understanding and no one talking to each other. However since the break up so much stuff has come to the open and I listin to what all is said but in the end the only thing that matters is how I feel and what I think is going to be the best for me. I spent one week crying myself to sleep and hurting over this break up and I felt all alone and if it was not for my good friend "Boo" then I dont think I could have gotten this far. My mom has also been a great big help I have a few facebook friends who also tried to help me. Then I found out that a really close friend was suppose to be like my best friend had something to do with a few mis understandings in the start now of course I can not prove it but I do feel in my heart of hearts and that makes it worse my mama always taught me to go with my gut.

But enough of that I have decided last night that I am not going to wait around hoping and wishing things were right between us again as much as I would love them to be just sitting around doing nothing makes me feel worse. So I am doing more work outs still no running with the entire knee issue which sucks cause running has always helped me with thoughts so I just walk and I have an ab machine I will start on now and an cardio machine that I need to get started on it is filled with dust but I I know that my health and getting back in shape is my #1 goal for now if things are ment to be they will find there way back and if not its best not to keep it going only time will tell. I have to focus more on CHD anyway and my health and raising awarness for CHD is the most important thing right now.

Do not get me wrong I am still having a hard time with things but I I have to keep going at least that is what I keep telling myself.

I will try to blog more often then I have been

Tuesday, May 17, 2011

Physical Therapy for the Knee

This afternoon was my first Physical Therapy (PT) since my knee sururgy since almost 3 months ago. Let me start with what Dale my Therapist was telling me before we ever started the Therapy session. He examed both of my knees and mesaured both of my knees and then discussed options and out comes. Dale is a great Therapist really connects with patients and makes sure I am ok, but honstley I feel that has a lot to do with the stunt I pulled in 2009. Same Theraphy hospital just different Therapist however Dale was there the day I blew up on David. See what had happen was I was trying to talk to David and he wouldnt listen I told him if he bent my knee anymore he was going to break it yes the point was to bend the knee but you have to work it in there and not force it I have been through way to many Therapy session to know that, besides even Dale said forceing it makes it worse. So anyway back to the present time I will start with My left knee which is my good knee, Dale says anything past 100 on the scales of measurments can cause damage on knees and joints but he is not blaming me. The right knee went down so it put the left knee into over work mode and when I use full forse and log my leg while lifting I can stretch the leg 110 degrees. It may not be much now but he wants to bring it down to 100 or even lower. Dale told me today that my right knee will never be 100% and he is not even going to try to make at 100%.
 So Dale told me today that due to the fact that my misalignment of knee cap has been out of place for over a year before it showed up on x-rays  wait let me correct myself before I found a doctor that believe me and look for something. AnywaysHe felt around on the knee cap in general and what he feels from the direct knee cap he even made me feel it was strange, but the knee cap has been out of alignment for a long time and so therefore the knee cap got use to it being out of alignment. And after 1 year and 8 months of not being corrected its not so easy to just let the knee cap fall back into place. Now If the surgery would have been done within the first 6mth then it was have just slide right along. What Dale & I have felt you can feel that the knee cap was fixed however the knee cap is wanting to slide out of postion again, thats the way it has been for over a year. Dale said that he will promise that this will fix it becasue as of today the knee cap could go either way but as of 4:15pm this afternoon it was trying to slide back out of alignment. What Dale is going to do is stregthen my quads and joints on the knee but he said even that may not help. If that knee cap muscles or the knee cap itself goes any further then it will break, its not like a break you think its a break that will un do everything that was done in surgery. If that happens then another trip to the OR for me this time with a hospital stay and cutting deep into the bone and thats will be the mannual way of fixing a misalignment of the knee cap. But there is a little hope that PT will help its so hard to tell at this moment in time. ANother issue we have to watch is when you hold you leg up in a locked postion everything is suppsoe to hold itself up well my knee cap drops at a 2.5 degree, and anything over 3 means a cane or crutch for me for awhile or even forever, Dale says it is so close that if it drops anymore then he will put me on a cane. So we have to watch that as well has the knee cap.

But what makes everything more diffucult for me is my unkonwn chest tightness Dale was concerned about that and even made me rest between exercises whitch is why it took me so long in PT today he checks my blood pressue, pulse ox after each excercise due to my chest tightness.

I go to Dr Googe (Ortho dr) on Monday May 23, 2011 and I go back to PT on Thursday and maybe even Friday depends on how Thursday goes.

Monday, May 16, 2011

When It Rains It Pours...

I first want to go ahead and get the knee update out of the way, I will have my first PT appoinment tomorrow afternoon at 3pm. I am not certain if it will help my knee I mean it is the first appoinment since the 2nd surgery that was about 3 months ago. I am still having trouble with teh swelling in the knee, I go to ortho dr next week not really sure what will happen, I look for him to just keep me in PT for a while.

My chest has been having tightness for a while now and I get sent away from the adult cardio clinc. They just do not seem to care about my CHDs yes I have had a repair in 1991 but I still have 2 I feel they should be checked all the time. So my primary dr is the only one who is concern about the tightness and the new CHD, so he is sending me back to my peditric cardio dr, but I am not certain he will be do concern due to my age. But it is like I am stuck between the young & the old I am to young to go to adult and to old to go to peds. But If I could just get some type reason or findings from a dr.

So last wednessday I had to be rushed to nearest ER by ambulance because the tightness was getting tighter and the pressure and it was hurting when I was taking deep breaths. Well they started an IV and bag of fluids on the ambulance and gave me 6 baby aspirin and a nitroglycerin. Before I knew it I was in the hospital room. ER dr on call never found out what is causing the tightness. He ran my heart enzymes like a number of times but the only forsure thing is that I do not have any blood clots. He did say that there was something he said it could be scar tissue or the chest wire but he was un certain. So again here we go again with everything from tests and needle sticks.

There is a saying that people will often tell me they say Hang in there it wil get better but the truth is that it never truly fully gets better I mean maybe for a little whilebut then as soon as you think your in the clear something hits you right back down. But to tell ya the truth I am 25 years old I am use to it by now it is my life and there is nothing I can except get right back up and fight it again. I born into this world fighting for life so I guess I will keep fighting for as long as I can. I am a survivor and with god standing by myside I can do anything. I just get aggravted and annoyed at times it gets old after a while.

Saturday, May 7, 2011

Mother's Day Weekend

Hello everyone this is Mother's Day Weekend 2011. I pretty much gave my mom her Mother's Day gift yesterday took her and my mamaw to dinner last night it was fun seeing my mamaw get out to go somewhere other then the doctor's office.

Since its Mother's Day weekend I would like to share a few of my favorite photos with me and my mom, and before I begain let me just say My mom is a very strong person, but any woman who will never give up on their CHD baby is very strong. I am truly blessed to have a mother like her she never once gave up on me and she never will she is the one who makes me fight for life all the time I truly do not know where I would be with out my mom.

The picture above was taken in 2007 at a Jo Dee Messina concert Meet & Greet and I was thrilled I was able to share that moment in time with my mom

I hope that all you mother's out their is spending time with their children and you cherish each moment with them. I  am not blessed to be a Mother yet well unless count 4 legged creatures then I am a mother to 4, 3 little cats and a dog.

I would like to give you folks an update on me for the last week I have been  having chest tightness in my chest, it feels like a 100lb weight is pressed upon my chest. I have been having these episodes for the last 3 years. I have been going to adult cardio doctors but they are not to concern about it however I am very concerned it comes and goes something must be cauding these pains. I go to peds cardio on may 27 so hopefully Dr. Jackson will know what to do and what test to run.

As far as my knee I have yet to receive a phone call to start PT I sure am wanting it to be very soon.

Sadly we lost another little baby with the CHD battle little Savannah was taken off machines yesterday at 7pm EST she was only 2 weeks old. Fly High Little one she has gained her angel wings and I am praying for her family.

When I hear of little babies & Children who die from CHD I often sit back and think about my life. It seems that we have been loosing many little ones with the battle of CHD. I cant help but ask why me, why am I here and they arent. I know we are not suppose to question the works of God but I cant seem to help it at times. From 1985-2011 you would think that with the advancements in times and technology things would change. And to think I did not have my CHD repair surgery until I was 6 years old. Many of sleepless nights for my family. But I am her to tell my story and as I always say If I can help just one person then it is well worth it.

An graphic I made for my mom last year she is a huge Aggie Fan and I am huge Vol fan My room is orange & White and her living room is in Aggies. But we have common bond with the SAINTS!

This is the most recent photo of my mom and me with my sister

Happy Mother's Day to all Mother's Everywhere

Wednesday, April 27, 2011

My Thoughts on Just about Everything

I first want to start by saying I hope evreyone had a safe and happy Easter this past weekend. Again Im sorry about my lack of not updating this blog, I have never been one to just sit down and write blogs. With everything I have delt with in my life I thought it might would help someone else, even if I can only help one person with my blog then it is well worth it.

I know that I started this blog mainly for CHD world, however my venting helps me more then anyone could ever know. So the last few weeks I have been doing some major thinking about different things and people and some thigns do annoy me but I have learned and I am still learning that I dont care what people think I am who I am and I am not going to change for anyone. If God accepts me for who I am then so should my so called friends or at least people who I have trusted in and became friends with. Then one day bam a big slap in the face and this was not the first time a so called friend of mine had did this to me. I personally do not care but the fact that it is over something stupid and then you go onto social networks and trash talk me. Its over so get over it. I will never understand why some people keep things going and why you try to get my other friends to not talk to me. It annoys me and I guess some people have nothing better to do but enough is enough just let it go.

On to the CHD world I must admitt the mouth of April has been the saddest month for me I have cried so many tears for our CHD Warriors who has gained their angel wings this month. I sometime wonder howcome I lived and the others didnt. I know we are not suppose to question God he does what he does for reasons we sometimes dont understand, but it is still very hard to hear about.  Lets all keep all the family's who have lost someone due to CHD in our thoughts and Prayer's and lets also keep in mind that those ones who have lost their life with CHD they will no longer have to suffer a life long battle of hospital stays, surgeries they no longer have to suffer and that is a good thing but still very sad.

I am still working with Children's Heart Foundation to get a Walk date set for CHD awareness some of it has been planned out. I will tell my story, talk about Pulse Ox Testing, and other common things in that nature I just hope we have a good turn out. I dont have all the date set just yet Im still trying to find a venue or area to do the walk this is what my hold up is, seems no one knows what CHD is and is not willing to listen, but dont panic I will find a place that my friends is a promise.

A brief update on me I will go to ortho dr the end of this month, my knee is still pretty swollen and causing some major pain, I am limited to what I am able to do at this time. When I went to see the dr last week he informed me that it will take anywhere from 4-6mths to even notice if the surgery worked, and 6-12mths for at least an 75% come back to my knee, so I will never get 100% usage back of my knee, a little upsetting but I have been through worse in my life.

Now as far as my heart goes with the new findings of a Tricuspid Valve Regurgitation, I am being sent back to my old pediatric cardiologist because the cardio clinic I have been going to they do not speacilize in CHD with adults that was born with CHD. I have a gut feeling Dr. J will call for a heart cath either way I think the fact That I dont know anything about the Tricuspid valve is what has me so up tight these last few weeks, the unkonwn is very scary. I mean when I had my OHS I was 6 and was told I was going to a room to play ghostbusters I did not know anything or what was happing. I am 25 now and a little worried but I guess that I will deal with anything once that issue happens. Then a months back one adult cardio dr had said something about going ahead and closing my PDA that has never been closed but why mess with something that is not even causing promblems. I will give updates towards the end of the month on this when I see both doctors both appointments are in the same week.

Saturday, March 26, 2011

Update on Everything

First things first and kinda the most important thing at least the entire reason why I started this blog. Im currently trying to get a local support group started for CHD Im in the process of getting it official. I need a simple name so if any of you guys have any ideas then feel free to contact me with it.

Next my knee is I guess healing up ok it very swollen Im only putting a little weight on my knee and still using crutches, my next appt is April 18. Im hoping & praying that this will be my last knee surgery and Im still ready to start my fitness thing back up its been over 5 months but I cant do it due to knee. But soon I hope I will be able to and get back into shape.

A little personnal issue inside my family my only mamaw that is still living is not doing to good. She has an illness she has lumbar stenosis. She is 80 year's old and she has never been one to stay down but we had to order a hospital bed for her we sat it up in her living room. Its so sad to see her like that I dont like seeing her in pain. I know her staying in bed is driving her crazy.

Thats about it and if anyone wants to help me with this blog like make it cute or something please contact me I just cant seem to get the blog all nice & Cute any help would be great thanks guys.

Tuesday, March 15, 2011

Recovering from Surgery

I know Im not doing a very good job on the entire update thing, but everything happes at the same time. Like I had knee surgery last week, Mamaw was in hospital she finally gets to come home today so thats a BIG plus.

I know this is mostly a site I started for the Heart however its also my personal blog that I use and this post is to let yall know how Im doing on Surgery.

So my ortho dr which I wanna add that he has the cutest smile to be a dr but anyways he told my parents everything was fine the surgery went well and he cut the cartledge to re align the knee cap and he also like shaved some un wanted fluid that was around my knee. and he said I would hurt and it be a long recovery and it is. I have a disk of the entire surgery but I have not watched it yet and yes I will put it to video hopefully soon.

Today has been excatly one week since surgery and my knee still is pretty painful but Im trying to get up more and more each day I cant wait until I go to dr on Friday and Im hoping that i can at least put a little weight on my knee I know Ill still have these darn crutches for a while but if I could at least walk on it that would be so much better.  My mom has been a huge help taking real good care of me and everything also taking care of Mamaw so I just wanted to say Thanks to my mom and that she is a real big help and Im very blessed to have parents like I do.

Ill try one day next week to write more on some CHD ideas and news.

Wednesday, February 9, 2011

A few Poems I have wrote for CHD

April Lynn

I wrote this, laying on the doctors table today just thinkin and wondering to myself just everything its not perfect but its my feeling into one

 I look around I see all the monitors
And I think to myself here we go again
No one seems to fully understand how I feel
I wonder will this ever end, will I ever be normal
People all around tells it will get better
But in the end it never dose
I'll always be battling the sick heart
Im in it for life
I hear about little small babies who die
From excatly what I was born with
I often wonder why was I the one to survive

But then I think this CHD has made me who I am
With God on myside I can do anything
I sometimes questionshim,
but in the end I know he has good reasons
Yes I know I have downtimes
But I have seen the power of God's healing work time after time again
I know I am one of the chossen few
Not many people could deal with what I have to go through in life
I am one of the very few Pround fighter's and Survivor's of CHD

As This Warrior Travels Through Life
by April Lynn
2005-Written after I was healing from a scar tissue removal surgery on the heart

I am a warrior of life
Having defeated death twice,
Misery and pain make appearances
While happiness stays by my side,

Each day brings a new challenge
Knowing the choice is always mine
When loneliness and doubt break through,

If what doesnt kill you makes you stronger
Then I have gained strength in faith,

The battle to become wise
Is fought in mind and heart,
For knowledge comes to those
with open eyes,

Climbing to achieve gives reason
as success renders a smile,
Knowing the road is long and winding
Brings a craving to see more,

This journey continues on
Showing more about myself,
Learning each step of the way
Receiving peace and contentment

As this warrior travels through life

I Was Born a Fighter
By: April Lynn

Everything was going great in life
Untill you find out that your heart is ill again
Everything use to be so easy as kid
When I was kid I didnt understand everything
I'm not a kid anymore and its scary as hell
I find myself sitting, thinking, and asking "why me, why now"
I might have my down points right now
No matter the outcome of this nightmare
Im going to keep living life the best I can

I am stubborn and  hard headed
I have beat this once and I will do again
I have way to many dreams in life;
To just sit back and not fight this
Yes it gets old
Yes I get aggrvated
Yes I get mad and angry
But I just get right back up again
Nothing can keep me down for long
I was born a fighter

"When Time Stands Still"
by April Lynn

It starts with news impossible to hear
It conjures up your every fear
It's when they say your heart is ill
That's when time just stands still

In that moment, that suspended time
A thousand thoughts run through your mind
Will I ever laugh and play?
Will I see my wedding day?

All the planning, the hopes and dreams
Are put on hold -- just what does this mean?
my crib is empty, my toys alone
For now, the hospital will be my home

This is a place where time stands still
Where the void's too large to ever fill
For in a hospital's intensive care
Children lie, some unconscious, some aware

And time is measured by a new yardstick
Every second marked by a monitor's tick
Noting every breath the child takes
And every beat my tired heart makes

Just a moment of watching a child writhe or strain
In sedated confusion, or fear or pain
Or pleading for a drink to which you can't oblige
Seems like far more than an entire lifetime

And the children who live far too long
In hospital gowns, trying to be strong
They have old souls, that's what they say
Because in each moment they've lived a thousand days

For those who say time goes by too fast
Sit and watch children in hospitals and see just how slowly time can pass


So I know I said I was going to try and post at least once a week, however I have not been good on that word. I will try a little harder.

So yesterday the local newspaper came to the house and did a little interview with me being that this month is Heart Month. It will published on the last Saturday of the month so Im very excited. I love doing whatever I can to spred Congenital Heart Defect Awareness its very important and sometimes go un noticed and no one will help. Its more important then what people think. I have made an awareness video for people to see. please go to link and watch the video!/video/video.php?v=496782876645

Wednesday, January 19, 2011

It Gets Better

This is not really a poem or short story its just something I have had on my mind for a long time and just wrote it down so here goes. Im sure by now everybody already knows Im a big Jo Dee Messina fan and well listening to one of her songs made me start thinking. Its a song called "It Gets Better" below is the lyrics and a link to my youtube video I made for the song.

So here goes my views on this:

I have never been one to give up, I just somehow find the strentgh to keep fighting. I just get up up time after time again. However in all my years of all the hospital stays, sugeries, doctor vists, being teased and push down, I have often thought I'll get over it someday and be standing on my own two feet. I'll get better and stronger again.
But recently Ive thought does it really and truly get better, sure for a while it gets better but it always comes back. Take for example the heart has been great and going strong for years it did get better but 19 years later it comes back so therfore it does not get better forever just for a little while. My knee never got better yes it did get a little better but never fully got 100% better here i am waiting on surgery.
Dont get me wrong I love my life and everyone in it and I wouldnt change anything about who I am or my past, my past is what made me who I am today. All im saying is I have been re thinking things. This is an awesome song and I still listen to it all the time Im jsut saying that Im tired of always having to fight and Im tired of being the strong person.
Then I have been thinking outside the box and it truly will get better someday maybe not today or tomorrow but someday. Im talking about the day that I will be called home because that will be a day to where I will have no more surgeries, no more pain no nothing just happiness. Now Im not saying Im ready to go now but I have come to learn it does get better in the end and I can handle fighting and struggling with health promblems until that day cause in the end it will be well worth it.

Jo Dee Messina

This old world can be cruel sometimes
When you're looking for answers
You can't seem to find
No one understands what you're going through

Oh I know it can get lonely out there
When you feel like nobody cares
Well you look around thinking
If they only knew
Well I do

I've felt the chill of this world cut down to the bone
I've walked many a mile down this road on my own
I've been through hell on my knees
Come face to face with the devil
And I know that it's hard to believe
But it gets better

Time is a healer but we can't see how
When you're caught in the moment
And the hurting is now
We don't wanna see that maybe somethings
Weren't meant to figure out

I've felt the chill of this world cut down to the bone
I've walked many a mile down this road on my own
I've been through hell on my knees
Come face to face with the devil
And I know that it's hard to believe
But it gets better

This old world can be cruel sometimes
When you're looking for answers
Well just keep in mind
No you're not alone
We're all trying to find our way through this life

I've felt the chill of this world cut down to the bone
I've walked many a mile down this road on my own
I've been through hell on my knees
Come face to face with the devil
And I know that it's hard to believe
But it gets better

Tuesday, January 18, 2011

The Big Ugly Truth of My Life

So now that you guys know a little more about my surgery from my mom I thought I would share some other things about me that most probably never knew or even dreamed I have delt with in my life, this could get a little long.

I first want to say that I do not have much memory of my old hospital stays when I was a kid, I only know that I got to go everywhere with the nurses and doctors and yeah I was a little spoiled by my favorite nurse in PICU and my favorite dr. Oh I wanna add that I have been on the Peds floor recently at the hospital because my baby Logan from work had fell and was in there, but anyway I notice a game room, like the hot wheels cars and stuff like that. Im like dude where was all thsi fun stuff at when I was living up here they even had bikes its awesome that they put things like that for the kids but geez i feel old because they didnt have all that when I was there.
Anyways sorry bout that I remeber getting EKGs and be able to get a entire pad of those EKGs stickers and I would come home and play with my dolls and do open heart surgery on all my dolls and stick them with the EKG stickers. Those were the good ole days.
Since my mom made a big long post about my surgery not going to go into big details about that just that I didnt know what was going on but I got lots of goodies at the hospital and people came and seen me and my mom is the best mom ever she never left even to this day she always right there with me.
So After my surgery my heart was not normal but better I mean I had to always go to heart dr twice a year and still do just because of that one PDA that has never been closed. I always got sick I had gotten the flu every year it seems like and was put in hospitals if I got sick really badly. My entire life I missed more school days then what the school allowed but there nothing I could do because doctors didnt want me going to school and the school could hold me back casue I always had doctors excuses. However I was 2 years behind my normal age in school at times it felt strange at times I was made fun a lot for being slow. I was never in the speacial ed classes however when it came time for test taking I was in speacial classes and it really helped. Middle School years were the worse ever if it were up to me then I would have quit school but my mom never let me quite I thank her now for it. Im not sure why Middle school sucked so much I think alot of it had to was people seen me so different then most kids. I would cry myself to sleep every night for 3 years. I had to take P.E. classes and that was just pure hell people saw my scar and called me the freak girl I was know as the freak in middle school I did not have any friends in Middle School except one or two I was always the one picked last for everything. One time during P.E. class it was dodge ball and some chick I didnt like throw the ball at me very hard at my chest I have always been the quite type and one who doesnt break rules until you hit the right nerve then I end up showing my mean side, I grabed that ball went right up to her and said somethign along the lines hey do you think its cool or something to hit me the damn chest she and other girls were laughing I droped ball and pushed her straight up against the wall on the boys side of the gym and I said look dont mess with me and dont ever hit me again in my chest Ive had open heart surgery years ago and shoved her into the wall. I never told anyone that before I guess all this writing is just coming out. I made it out of Middle School the longest three years of my life.
Then I went to High School I thought it was gonna be the same as middle school. I was in band and my first year of Band Camp well I wanted to quite before I finish the 1st day and i probably would have if it wernt for a girl named Jessica  she was an upper classmen and lets just say she got on my nerves all the freakin time but it the end I learned it was just her trying to help me. What can I say Im stubborn and hardheaded I didnt wanna do anything anyone told me to do. But I started making good friends and i quickly learned it was going to be nothing like middle School. School work was a lot harder and I had to work 10x harder then anyone just to stay in the same grade leval and Mr. Williams Band Director made us keep a mininum grade point average and it took everything but I wanted to be in band, now Ill be honest I hated Concert band but I loved Marching band and in order to be in marching band had to be in Concert Band I was never the best player and I didnt try as hard as I could have but I had school work, band, Rotc, and still battling illnesses on my everything it seemed like. Not many people knew about my heart I was affarid to let people know thought they would make fun of me. Yes Im sure I could have done a lot harder in band but I was just so tired all the time and as long as I was able to get by and do what I thought at the time was all I did.
10th grade came and I started having bad back aches didnt know what from so went to doctor and said I had an inlarge spleen and was told the worse words ever "you can not march" I was mad but luckly I had a great Band director who let me just sit on sidelines and help pick up equimpment. I ment my best high school frined Toto, well thats just a nick name we gave her, my nick name was lil kevin (please dont ask). So I kept getting sick and missing school and sometimes I would miss school because of doctors and still show up for band practices. I finally found my best friend in high school and I told her everything I finally trusted her enough I showed her my scar one night and told her my story and she understood why I stayed so sick. However it did seem like the older I got the less I was getting sick I was like yes Im finally growing out of my sicknesses. (just wait it all comes back it always does).
Jr year comes and goes I was on uniform staff and still loved band I was 18 years old my JR year bout the same as the last two years.
Finally SR year arrives and SR game night came and went to fast I cried that night it was the last timne I would march on the Haughton High School field I gave it everything I had and pushed back the tears and went out there and performed. Then took the picture with my parents and band director. Now at this time my band director and I got into a big huge agrument a while back my JR year and we wernt on same good terms anymore. I quit after Marching Band there was no need to have to put up with concert band I was graduating in may so I didnt care anymore. Then I got my English 4 teacher he is what I call the teacher from hell I hated him with a huge passion, but most everyone liked him was a well known and well liked teacher with everyone but me. My promblem was that my older sister had him and she was perfect never ahd to study never had to do anything just look at a book and made good grade I had to work my ass off and it annoyed me. This one teacher always compared me to Nicki, saying crap like "well Nicki did this and Nicki did that" one day i got so fed up with that right in middle of class I sttod and said well I aint Nicki now am I Im April he made me go sit in the hall way for the rest of the class time. Then I found out that I was almost fixin to not graduated because of him and I asked was there anything I could do to get extra credit because I was working as hard as I could and still couldnt get a "C" he said I could interpt a song I was like yes any song of my choice he said yes in reson. I did Jo Dee Messina "It Gets Better" off the new album Delicious Surprise well at that time it was a new album. I had to turn in the CD case and CD cover I wasnt thinking its not a bad cover he had 2 promblems one he said he would over look it was a line in the song "Ive been hell on my knees come face to face with the devil" he said no one need to talk about the devil and then he almost took my Jo Dee CD case because of a certain picture and I said look she aint showing nothing she is clearly coverd by her arms and I said you can write me up expell me or whatever I dont care this was my excat words to him "mr hayden you have given me crap from day one and I take it day after day you talk about how perfect my sister was and how imperfect I am all Im trying to do is graduate High School I picked it gets better bvecause all the hell I have been through in my lifetime and it does get better but Ill be damn if you take my Jo Dee CD no one touches my Jo Dee CDs" he just gave me an odd look and passed me and as I walked out the door I was smiling and laughing and left. I can remeber that day very well it strange how we can remeber certain things and some we cant.
Anyway it was graduation day and I had to walk right pass mr williams to walk down the aisle and I almost starting crying but I didnt now after it was over I saw Mr Willams he gave me a hug and we made up and said I had a bright road ahead of me and he would never forget me it was an emotinal day.

And it starts again: about 2 weeks before I was suppose to start college I got a staff infection in my right hand and was put in the hospital for a little over a week. I almost lost my fingers Dr. B had passed away and I was sent to Dr J and even at 19 I seen a peds cardo dr he had to make sure my heart was well enough to cut on my hand and turns out there was a little red rash on my scar it was bothersome but my hand hurt more. So he sent me to Dr Manseny she one of the greats heart surgeons here in S'port. she said I had scar tissue but she wanted me to be discharged before she went in for surgery. A few weeks after my blood cells went down and I was sent home they did a minor heart surgery to remove scar tissue from under neath the scar.
A few years later did a heart cath to check on the PDA and it is still there at that time it was not leaking or anything it was fine. This is all taken place while Im in college. Come to think of it College was worse then High school I was out at least once a year for some kinda of surgery. I love my teachers and Deans they worked with me and know about my health. I meet my best friend Mary my first year of College we are still pretty close friends. She help me write my notes in English class because I couldnt use my hand. ANd as for as the work load it was freakin easy in college everyone always told me college was gonna be worse the high school but it was so much easier and I pass all my English Classes with an "A" and Coumputer, speech, Telcom classes with an "A" it wasnt hard for me I dont know why. I worked my way up in the Telcom department worked on student news and student films it was the best times and they understood about my illnesses. My last semester of college i injured my right knee at work lifting a slide and torn ligaments and did surgery and all kinds of stuff and still battling the knee injury I have a surgery coming up as soon as I get a phone call from dr and insurance approves it.

About 3mths ago my primary dr said he seen where theres a leak in my heart he seen that in the blood work. so I go next week to determine more about where and what is causing this leak.

So thats pretty much it told yall it was long its just my life nothing to important but I told yall i would write down and hope yall enjoy it and there will be post more about my health and heart  but just thought I would throw this out there for yall to read.

Monday, January 17, 2011

Where it all started

This writing is a writing from my mom's notebook back in 1985, I repeat this is not my writing it is told in my mom's opinion.

April Lynn Turner
Born: July 14, 1985
Where: LSUHSC Shreveport LA
Weigh: 5lbs 13oz (However within 3wks she droped down to 3lbs)

The first week of April's life was in NICU for Yellow Jondus, and also because she was a premature baby, my due date was Sept, 5 and April was born on July 14. After about a weeks time we were able to carry April home from the hospital, within 4-5 days April was rushed back up to the Hospital because she stoped breathing. When April was at the hospital we were told that she had 3 Congenital Heart Defects at that time we didnt know it was called CHD we were told she had 3 heart Murmurs. Aprils CHD's are ASD, VSD, and PDA. April was put into PICU and we played the back in forth game for a while; where April would be on the Peds floor for a while then back down to PICU it was a hard time for us. April took her first plane ride when she was 3 weeks old, she went to New Orleans in a private jet. April was so small that Cabbage patch clothes were to big for her to wear. We finally go to bring her bac home but we still played the home for awhile then back at the hospital for awhile, it got to be where April was a regulair patient and went everywhere with nurses and doctors, it truly was our home away from home.
April sat up at 6 1/2mths
April creeped around at 8mths
April Stood up alone at 13 1/2mths
Climbed at 16mths
Taken off bottle at 1 1/2 years old
Drink from cup at 7mths
Given juice at 4mths
Solid food at 6mths
potty trained at 1 1/2 years old

We were always told that April was going to die but I didnt wanna hear that I never gave up on April and therefore April kept fighting, she is truly my fighter even to this day. I didnt treat April any different then my oldest child Nicki we let April play in dirt and did whatever she wanted when she was at home. I never took pictures of April while she was on all those machines and tubes because at that time I didnt know if that would be the last time I seen her alive and I didnt want to remember my child that way.
So back to April's story at 2 years old April weighed 21 pounds, doctors started saying that the Murmurs were showing signs of closing on their own, however they also kept saying April would have to have heart surgery. The murmurs never closed on their own. April use to call her big sister Ick instead of Nicki because she had speech promblems, April went to speech twice a week, she was starting to talk a little more and went to church and learned the song Deep & Wide and drove everyone around her crazy with that song. At 4 years old April weighed 25 pounds she started school and loved. At 6 years old APril had her 4th Heart Cath the hospital called and told us that April would have surgery on Sept. 16 1991

Monday Sept 16, 1991: its 6:30am they took April to surgery I did not get to see April until 3:30pm it took them a little over 9 hours to repair her little heart, the doctor said they repaired the ASD, and the VSD, they told us that the heart had been out of April body for so long they could not repair the PDA if it caused promblems they would go back in there and repair it, April did very well during the surgery she got to come home that following Saturday she no longer had tyo take meds.

This is April only 6 months after her Open Heart Surgery:

There was no holding April down from the moment they took her off all the machines in the hospital she was ready to run and jump it was has if she never had surgery. She went home and wasn not able to go back to school for a long time she was home bound, we would have to tell April dont run, April dont jump, APril your not suppose to be doing that we tried our best to follow doctors orders but you couldnt tie April down she did whatever she wanted to do and there was no stoping her.

Years past and she went to high school and dances and graduated when everyone said she wouldnt she proved them wrong, She even graduated College I couldnt be more proud of her then what I am now. She has had many hard times in and out of hospitals her entire life she had many colds, flu, heart Failure, She has come back time after time again she is truly my mircle baby.

-April's Mom